Agnes Laurens

A blog about my personal issues I face in life.

I feel and I can't explain

It's hard to explain that I feel deep, but that I can't explain the feeling I feel right now. It's hard. Hard to explain the feeling I feel right now. Yes, I said it twice. That is what I feel right now. I feel I'm in two spaces at the same time and don't know how to feel. I feel sad and I feel happy at the same time too. It's a weird feeling to have.

I want to cry but the tears don't come out. Strange actually. I want to cry for the sad feeling but I don't want to cry for the happy feeling too. Like there will be someone tighten a knot in your stomach. And don't want to leave it. It hurts.

There is so much on my plate right now. Maybe it's that feeling, you have to do so much that you can't keep up but you have to keep up with everything you do. I like the things I do, that is not the point. But the feeling you have to do things… Well, it is not a problem. I love what I do.

Writing, painting, playing the violin... Being creative is great, but when you have too many ideas in your head then at some point you are breaking and when you want to do in perfectly in one time immediately like I want to do... Then you have problems. At least, I have problems. So, I have to set a timer to write this article and keep going to write.

Do you have this feeling too? The feeling you don't want to feel, but you have to face this feeling to continue your work? I have to face it. I will and it is too late now to continue writing, but tomorrow there will be a new day.

Keep going is the new motto!

Meet your friends when you want and keep in touch with them as much as you can. Today, I was having dinner in a restaurant in Utrecht (The Netherlands) and talked about a lot of everything. Especially parenting. The differences in parenting. Then you will see how different each parent is. But also you can share how you will do things in your way and maybe you'll find the way your friend use is better than yours.

Let us share the music with us. Since I was a little child I have played the violin and I'm still playing. It has been such an important part of my life. And still is. I'm so proud my parents let me playing the violin and before that I played the cello for one year. So my children are playing an instrument too.